Khwab ho tum ya koi haqeeqat.....

What is a relationship??? Can it be pre-defined? Or is the definition circumstantial? “Circumstantial Evidence”! Whew! Sounds like Murder! Many people I know, who are not very comfortable with their Relationships, might actually agree to that. “Relationships are Murder of Privacy and Peace-of-mind”. To be honest, I’m personally very bad at Relationship Management. I keep doing the wrong things and expect people to understand. When they don’t, I simply mark them as insensitive. I get angry, lonely, dejected, defensive. Then why, you might wonder, do I think I’m qualified to write all this? For only One Reason. When people do any wrong towards me, no matter to what extent they go, I try to understand and evaluate their behavior rationally. I don’t claim to be an ever-forgiving saint. That would be cheeky enough to drive everyone away from me. But I do try, as much as possible, before giving up.

Like me, every individual has their own Relationship Management ( henceforth referred to as RM ) mechanism. Then again, there are different kinds of relationships. What I can expect to do and get away with, when my Maa is concerned, I better not dare the same with my Boyfriend! It is of utmost importance to recognize a relationship and choose a course of RM action accordingly. Since we are all human beings with Emotions, more or less, we tend to be judgmental. But before getting sentimental and tormenting ourselves with thoughts like “how could he hurt me”, or “how could she say like that! She is my best friend for 13 years now!”, or “if I cant be open and honest with my mother, then to whom should I confide?”, People, make an effort to stop and think, “he/she is an Individual first. Did I really make an effort to bring him/her on the same plane of understanding that I am standing on, before breaking the news?”. “Is it really possible for me to stand in her/his shoes and retrospect?” “Did I really make an effort to understand her/him, before expecting to be understood?” Well, Emotional creatures that we are, we often fail to stop and think. We just Expect others to understand. And yes, we so freely castigate them for being insensitive towards our needs. So, isn’t it just obvious that when all of us are following this same trail of thoughts, Relationships are supposed to, fall apart, left and right.

RM is a lot like Cricket. You select the players, you position the fielding, you strategize, but whether the batsman delivers a sixer, or a nick off the bat to be caught by the slip, is only decided on the spot. And it’s a live game. No “Restart” buttons, unfortunately. But then, the most important things in our life come without a “restart/refresh” button. And when all goes astray, we can only tell ourselves, “the best is yet to happen”. Now, I am a very positive thinking person and really do believe it to be so. For the not-so-optimistic, all I can say is, “B+….come to me, and I will heal all ills”. Sounds like Agony Aunt ( that was my intention ).

Now you might wonder what made me so serious about relationships!? You know, what they say about facing your worst fear. Instead of running away from it, solve it once and for all. My last honest attempt was at losing my excess body-weight. And after one month of facing it, and starting to tackle with it, I’m still going strong and steady about it. So now I decided to take up my next problem, which has been staring at me since a long time now. And there have been added spice to the topic of late, courtesy, love-life and family-life of some of my friends, who often turn to me in search of solace and salvation. But nevertheless, while thanking me for my unconditional love, support and notwithstanding my astronomical mobile phone bills, they don’t fail to remind me that I never Practice what I Preach. And that if only I could do that, my Life would be nothing short of a Utopia!

But alas! I’m a mere mortal with my endless follies and fallacies. Life has taught me to be patient. Life has proved time and again that Time is a Healer. But most importantly, I have learned never to retaliate when I’m angry or upset. Trust me, off late it has saved me from a lot of repentance and curses. But then again, I slipped, I tripped and I fell. I said things that I didn’t mean to, and I meant things that I never said!